Time to Give Up the Lohan, Return to the Gym, Hit on KIDS star?

Ok, so a few days ago I pre-wrote this post (come on, I have a real job too).

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Against all better judgment, perpetually single Jason Segel did the unthinkable:

He partied with BOTH Lohan sisters the other night.

Sigh.

I guess I can't blame him. Linds is on her way back up, that other one is as hot as Linds used to be, but is still young, straight, and willing (probably), and Jason is getting a bit...


soft.

Now, it's obvious that I still would make out with him... but bring him home? I need a man with stamina, Jason, and I'm not sure you're physically capable right now.

100 crunches a night? Try. Because there is still love for you here...

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But now there's MORE!

He's got his mack on one more time, reportedly, with Chloe Sevigny.

Star of Kids, Big Love, and the Fug Girls blog.

No judgment Jason, because Chloe is often spotted on the town solo. She needs a man, much like I do. And she's in her mid-30s, which I hear is the time when the biological clock really gets a-tickin'.

WELL PLAYED, indeed!

I hope for procreations.