Stop the Hate, Me on Celebs edition?

Oy vey.

I never thought the day would come when I uttered this particular type of hate.

In the September issue of Interview magazine, Natalie Portman, girl I LOVE (because of: Closer, Garden State, veganese, slept with Moby once?), was interviewed by Jake Gyllenhall, boy I really enjoy (because of: brother of Maggie, quite studly, Jarhead naked butt).

Normally, you're thinking, SWOON! They are friends, they don't ever get drunk and show me that they don't wear panties. They are respectable despite their celebrity.

They are in a new movie together:
Seriously, even as I write this, having read the interview, I still think they both might rule based purely on my thoughts from B.I. (before interview).

(Tobey... you're still harshing my buzz.)

But OMG was it the most pretentious interview EVER! Read it here.

If you think you might gag, let me just give you an excerpt:

GYLLENHAAL: Yeah. Looking at all these things that you’ve done and contributed to the world so far, I would have thought that the evil wizard Gargamel would’ve been something you could have very easily stepped over.

PORTMAN: Thank you for saying that, but I’m far from fearless. I’m afraid of everything. But maybe when you’re afraid of everything, it sort of seems like you’re scared of nothing.

GYLLENHAAL: Well, there’s no courage without fear, so you must have great courage because you’re afraid of everything.

PORTMAN: That sounds like something from a Batman movie: “There is no courage without fear . . . ”

GYLLENHAAL: [laughs] Yeah, but I do think that’s true.

"Oh Natalie, you are so rad." "Oh my gosh I so am! You are too though Jake."

Who cares that you like the Ying Yang Twins? So does my cousin, and he is 16, thinks he lives in the LA ghetto, and wears pants 10 sizes too big for him. And he lives in an upper-class 'hood in Calgary. Come now.

Then again, I guess I forgot she was a Harvard grad... and GQ has taught us so much about their douchery.

Tears. One for each of you... and one for me. I never thought I could hate Hollywood's leading nerd.