Sunday movie: Closer

I saw Closer a few years ago, when it was a relatively new movie, and I remember being pretty blown away. But second time around, i think it got even better. If I could summarize this movie with one word, it would be "mindfuck".

Basically, Jude Law's character meets Anna (Julia Roberts), falls in love with her despite having wicked-hot Natalie Portman waiting at home, and proceeds to nail her. Then he sets her up with Clive Owen, in a super-creepy online sex-chat way. But that backfires majorly--let's face it, Clive Owen is a major man-babe.

In some twist of self-hate, Julia Roberts ends up falling for Jude Law (hey, it's happened to the best of us) while maintaining her Clive Owen relationship. But Clive finds out and takes serious revenge on Jude by keeping Julia and later nailing Natalie.

Poor Jude.

The Goodies:
1. Everyone is hot and doing everyone else, and they smoke non-stop. Great for a single lady who appreciates both types of activity.
2. The CAST... could it be more stacked?
3. Oh yeah, it's also set in London so you get a bit of scenery.
4. I would be only half a person if I didn't mention that Natalie Portman plays a stripper and she has a CRAZY LONG bare-ass scene with Clive Owen. He's yelling, she's smiling coyly... it's danger.

The Bummers:
1. Clive Owen is not naked, ever, at all. Even partially.
2. Considering how often they alluded to doing it, as a viewed I would have appreciated a few (very brief) sex scenes. Come on Julia, I don't think you'd even had a baby then! Show off your bod.
3. The Damien Rice music at intro AND outro? I don't think so. I understand it at the end, because Jude Law is literally one Deep 'n' Delicious away from cutting himself; but in the beginning, he's cocky and confident, and in love. Come on Patrick Marber (writer, care of imdb.com), let us think that love is a good thing.

I went to bed feeling like I wasn't missing out on the crazy of a relationship... and as an added bonus, Clive and Jude right before bed was not a bad call. Highly recommended for boys and girls.